When we look at relationships and marriage, it’s hard not to notice a huge disconnect between what’s in the world and what God’s plan is for men and women. In many marriages, friction and strife exist between spouses; divorce is common, and we see double standards imposed on men and women. The “appropriate” ways of thinking and behaving we learned growing up severely limit us from reaching our true potential as human beings. The unequal gender roles we force ourselves into may be accepted by the world, but it’s not what God wants for us.

God initially made Adam and Eve as equals. He blessed them both equally, and gave them equal authority and dominion over the earth and everything in it, but not over each other.

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth (Genesis 1:26-28).

This was His original intent for men and women.

When sin entered into the garden, it ruined the perfect relationship God had arranged. The result was that the woman became subject to the man’s domination and control. Subsequent relationships became unequal and one-sided. “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16). This Scripture is what tons of marriages are based on today.

In a marriage, both spouses have a role to fulfill. Traditionally, we’ve tried to define those roles based on religious expectations taken from the Law of Moses; however, these traditional, restrictive gender roles leave the husband and wife frustrated and unhappy. “Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye” (Mark 7:13). The outdated roles that once applied have changed from the old covenant of the law to the new covenant of grace. They’re now radically different for believers.

When Jesus came, He reconciled male and female relationships back to God’s original intent. This means the dominating, male-only, “head of the household” mindset no longer applies. In marriage, God’s plan is for both the husband and the wife to work together as equal partners on the same level. “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). Gone are the days when women were required to be subservient and passive, because now, submission is a two-way street. “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God” (Ephesians 5:21).

This leveling of the playing field extends to married as well as single people. It opens the door for women to serve in ministry, in business, and anywhere else God calls them. Grace frees both genders to be who they were created to be. It’s a new day, and we all stand on equal ground.